||[31 Jan 2010|04:21pm]
For reasons undisclosed, I am making my journal friends-only. If you are not one of my friends, please just let me know that you would like to be friended. If not, thank you for coming, and have a nice day.
||[11 Apr 2006|11:13am]
I am really about to have lunch with Joshua Parker.
You know how on "But I'm A Cheerleader", the camp counselors have them searching for their 'root' to gayness?
He's my root to being a faghag. Oh, the fun that we can have!!!
Lake Charles is interesting. I feel like I could be independent here, but it is still not big enough. Houston is looking better and better everyday, especially as I pass McNeese State University.
As I was reading through my old papers, I realized how much I miss a few things, like actually doing academic work. I miss a certain someone whose skipping town recently became a bit more permanent...I just wish I could pick up the phone and call her.
"and I am trying to evolve..."
|proof that the best ones never, ever stay.
||[03 Apr 2006|01:42pm]
I could have predicted this -
Katy Powell just emailed me back. She's having fun in Amsterdam...not surprised. ;)
She took a job at Virginia Tech. They gave her money to start a feminist methods symposium, and she's basically promised tenure.
My heart just broke into a million pieces.
||[26 Mar 2006|10:50pm]
So, I'm thinking about applying to the BookYouCrew group here on livejournal, and I'm wondering what they would think of my top 20 list. They don't like trite, and they don't want you to play it incredibly safe. So...
Here's a list of works I would include. Tell me what you think.
Maus I and II, Art Spiegelman
Trash, Dorothy Allison
Absalom, Absalom, William Faulkner
A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
Orlando, Virginia Woolf
You Can't Keep A Good Woman Down, Alice Walker
Christ in Concrete, Pietro di Donato
Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi
The Hours, Michael Cunningham
Before Night Falls, Reinaldo Arenas
Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, Tom Robbins
Angels in America, Tony Kushner
The Souls of Black Folk, W.E.B. DuBois
A Streetcar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams
Selected Poems collection, William Carlos Williams
Magical Thinking, Augusten Burroughs
Rubyfruit Jungle, Rita Mae Brown <--guilty pleasure
||[06 Mar 2006|04:57pm]
i don't want to talk about it.
i don't want to think about it.
i only have two more weeks at this place, and i'm dying.
then...she makes me feel like i am not a good teacher. I KNOW I AM A GOOD TEACHER.
however, it's really difficult when all the work you do is completely invalidated by her presence, and i can't stand it.
::breathe, baby, breathe::
||[14 Feb 2006|07:09pm]
happy VD everyone.
That's right...go out and treat that case of herpes with a smile.
||[12 Feb 2006|08:54pm]
I probably should update, but I really don't feel like writing a damn thing. So, I'll fill out another damn survey and give it to the people.
First Name: Janis
First Real Best Friend: Beth Sneve
First Screen Name: this is the one I use for everything...I really don't remember having one before this.
First Dog's Name: Henry
First School: A small schoolhouse in Roanoke, LA
First Piercing: Ears (and that's it and all that will ever be)
First CD: (you'll love this) Sheryl Crow's Tuesday Night Music Club
First grade teacher: Mrs. Ritter
First House Location: Oak Street, Welsh (though I was too young to remember it)
Last Time You had sex: too fucking long ago (especially with any qualitative elements attached)
Last Food You Ate: pulled pork with peanut sauce over a biscuit, garden salad.
Last Car Ride: tonight, from Sarah's
Last Movie You Watched: watched part of Valmont last night
Last Phone Call: Mi madre.
Last CD You listened to: A Depeche Mode greatest hits CD I made last night.
Last Bubble Bath You took: probably almost a year ago.
Last Song You listened to: Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence"
Last thing you bought: a very necessary tank of gas.
8 Have You Evers
Have You Ever Dated a Best Friend: Well, now she's my best friend...
Have You Ever Been Arrested: haha, not yet.
Have You Ever Been on TV: again, not yet.
Have You Ever Been on a Blind Date: yes (eighteen different kinds of awful.)
Have You Ever Been out of the country? The Bahamas when I was a kid.
Have You Ever lost someone close to you? yes.
Have You Ever Snuck out of Your House? god...no. I never had the opportunity. My parents were pretty lax about rules anyway...all I really had to do was ask.
Have You Ever Been in Love? yes. Jury's still out on whether or not I like that answer.
7 Things You are Wearing
3. pj pants
5. two bracelets
6. a grin
7. ...and that's it.
6 Things You've Done Today
1. Watched Canada kick Russia's women's hockey team's ass.
2. Got stuck in traffic.
3. Took a shower.
4. Went to the LSU/Georgia women's b-ball game
5. Checked my email compulsively
6. downloaded an Arrested Development CD (the hip-hop band, not the TV show)
5 Favorite Things (not in any order)
1. Lazy weekends
2. Cold, clear, sunny days
3. Driving at night
4. An ice-cold beer at the end of a long day
5. Being around my family and friends
4 People You MOST Trust
4. Ma Broussard
3 Things You Want to do Before You Die:
1. Have Ph.D.
2. Live abroad for a fixed period of time doing something constructive and somewhat selfless.
3. Travel as much as possible
2 Things you got for Christmas:
1. a digital camera
1 PERSON YOU WANT TO SEE NAKED:
1. Oh holy lord...what kind of question is this? If I could have anyone naked as a jaybird right in front of me...who would it be? Is this a dead or alive question? Okay, focusfocusfocus...it...would...be...
Oh fuck, I don't know. I give. Perhaps this is why I haven't had good sex in light-years...I'm indecisive.
|not bad...not too damn bad.
||[01 Feb 2006|08:45pm]
So, um...because I can't do a damn thing for my birfday until Friday (when we are actually given time off to do what we please [aka READ!!]), I went to the local convenience store and bought a tall-boy and a lottery ticket.
I'm trying to decide whether or not I'm white trash (or as Stewie would say, deliciously white trash.
For all of you that commented on my facebook wall and sent emails and kept my phone ringing off the damn hook today, thank you. You all have made my day a pleasant one and left me a happy, happy girl.
At least it wasn't like last year...I'd be crying right now. No ma'am. There's no crying in birthdays.
||[01 Feb 2006|05:53am]
i say it's mah birfday. is it your birfday too?
i feel old. hahaha, but that could be because it is too g d early in the morning...
||[18 Jan 2006|11:08pm]
I wish I could express how beat up I feel...
So, I'm pretty much convinced that middle school is not for me (already, I know), yet there are some interesting challenges at Gonzales Middle that were not really overly present at McK (resource students, illiteracy, ESL and disability students), and I really want to work with these kids. Any different experience that forces me to stretch my mind is going to make me a better teacher.
The mentor teachers at GMS are not nearly as challenging as the teachers at McK...I wonder if the gap is the difference between gifted and traditional, and it makes me sort of upset. I want my kids to have the opportunity to be challenged, and I don't know if I will have the opportunity to give them that.
However...as far as my own academics...
Fuck, dude. $400 worth of shit to read. Granted, it's good shit, but it's good shit in bulk. I didn't ask for a degree from Sam's. For the love of Pete...
I am learning to let go. I actually gave that guy a hug. It was a bit liberating...but it could just be me in all my sheer exhaustion.
I'm hoping for a breakthrough.
I just realized how much I have stopped to breathe...slowly...in...out the past few days. I feel a little more centered. ...But not completely. I wouldn't be part Broussard if I was completely centered.
So, did Mayor Nagin have a temporary lapse in sanity or what? The fuckin' Willy Wonka jokes have already started less than 24 hours after he made that doomed comment...wow.
Thank god I don't have to drive to Gonzales Friday. I'd rather drive to Lake Charles after a long day...
peace and love to you, each and every one.
||[15 Jan 2006|12:58am]
This is supposed to be a place to vent, right?
Then why the fuck can I not write a thing that's going through my head right now?
I know I fear too much; I get that. I always have. But, sometimes, I need to learn to let go. My heart feels like it is in knots - let's not talk about my stomach and my ability to breathe. I had my very first honest-to-god panic attack this week because of it.
Why do I feel like I'm going to lose her? She is not mine to lose.
I swear to god I just want to see her happy. That's it.
I also have a thing for someone who probably either (a) has no clue, (b) doesn't know I exist, or (c) both.
School needs to begin so I'll stop thinking so much.
||[10 Jan 2006|11:17pm]
1. What is your full name? Janis Virginia Bellon
2. What color pants are you wearing? blue (they're blue jeans.)
3. What are you listening to right now? Emeril...he's apparently slow-cooking a pork shoulder...sounds Cuban.
4. What was the last thing you ate? A roast beef and roasted pepper roll up thingie
5. Do you wish on stars? I do when I go to Kinder...you can see every star in the sky.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? White. You don't really see it, but then you do.
7. How is the weather right know? cloudy cloudy
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Jonathon
9. How old are you today? 22 years, 11 months, and 10 days.
10. Favorite drink? Diet Coke and water
11. Favorite sports? Anything that can hold my attention for longer than five minutes.
12. Hair color? dirty blonde with highlights
13. Do you wear contacts? Can't do it; my eyes are way too sensitive
14. Siblings? Two brothers, Logan and Dylan
15.Favorite Month? February
16. Favorite food? My grandmother's seafood gumbo...and generally anything that comes from my father's kitchen
17. What's the last movie you saw? Brokeback Mountain
18. Favorite day of the year? my birthday
19. What do you do to vent anger? meditate or go driving
20. What was your favorite toy as a child? Is a trampoline a toy?
21. Summer or winter? Torn...I like both.
22. Hugs or kisses? again, I like both.
23. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla ice cream, chocolate everything else.
24. When was the last time you cried? Monday...
25. What is under your bed? Boxes of blankets, random papers, my cat when he hides...
26. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Beth
27. What did you do last night? I fell asleep on my couch at 6pm (and did not wake up until 10am this morning)
28. What are you afraid of? Heights. The dark. The boogeyman
29. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn? Kettle corn. That rocks.
30. Favorite car? Honda Accord Hybrid
31. Favorite flower? generally, I'll choose orchids
32. Number of keys on your key ring? five
33. How many years at your current job? er...6 months
34. Favorite day of the week? Friday!!!
35. What did you do on your last birthday? Sarah, Bryan, Sara, and I went to Austin to see Ani DiFranco, and had a blast cavorting around Central Texas (and engaging in utter debauchery).
36. How many states have you lived in? 2
37. How many cities have you lived in? a few, if you count every place I call home.
38. What is your favorite candy? If it's chocolate...it's good.
||[09 Jan 2006|01:57pm]
I'm in Kinder...
...and about to get in the car and drive back to BR.
i need that sigh of relief
PS my love; I'm getting too old for these intense conversations.
||[06 Jan 2006|01:11pm]
I'm in Kinder right now...with access to a computer!!! Not that I'll have much time to do anything on it, because I still have some shtuff to do in order to make myself a complete resident of the State of Louisiana.
Confused? My bills and some documents are registered under my mother's former address in Spring. So, I have to get them changed today...or I'll have no lights or power. Now, wouldn't that be swell for the first week of Spring semester????
This is it...two semesters left. Then, I'll be a Master. Ha! It's a little nervewracking. I probably should write my resumé next weekend. Once I have my tower up and running (crossing fingers, let's pray), I'm going to be on the hunt for a few things, namely a job and a place to live. After my apartment was broken into, I needed no more convincing that I at least needed a new part of town...or a different zip code. As in one that is not Baton Rouge.
I have figured a couple of ways that I would stay in BR. One way is if I was hired at LSU as a counselor. A couple of positions were left vacant over winter break, and I would love to assume either. Second, if I could work with Bryan at the LA Board of Regents (perhaps as a grant writer)... Yeah, I'd stay. I would be able to afford it. But as a single woman making $33,500 to start in the EBRPSS? In short, if I stay, I'm not teaching. (And, to be a complete snob...I am far too educated to be that underpaid. I don't know how the rookie teachers do it. I roughly know what my mentor teachers make, and that number was a lot bigger.)
Houston has been incredibly tempting. Teachers are paid very well at Year 0 and I could live in the Heights or Montrose area for cheap. I would be in the center of something with a pulse...as I was driving here yesterday evening, I looked out at the vast stretches of farmland and untouched forest, and it left me conflicted. While walking around Bellonville today, I realized that I could live here. It's peaceful, and I don't mind being around my family at all...but there is NOTHING for miles. The closest big city is Baton Rouge. Sure, there's Lafayette and Lake Charles...and then three hours to the west is Houston. I've made the drive so many times I could do it asleep. I feel better there. The pulse.
Besides, I have aspirations to become a gringa.
Then, there's always the Peace Corps. Sarah found out. She pegged it as "another one of your far-fetched ideas, Janis. You'll never go through with it." So, that pissed me off and made me want to do it even more. Her concerns are in the right place, but I swear, when we are not getting along, it's like she turns into my mother (something she revels in)...I can hear Stephanie's voice..."J...JV...stop fuckin' around!" At least we are getting along right now. (good thing...I'm staying at her place this weekend.) Thank god she only has one more week in Houston...
Dad just came back from working in the butcherhouse all morning. I'm about to make my lengthy series of phone calls. Maybe I could ask him to work on my shoulders tonight...my back is killing me, and I have to drive all over creation tomorrow...
I'll be back in BR Monday afternoon. Until then, peace and love, my dear friends.
||[02 Jan 2006|05:05pm]
Well, I had this really elaborate post planned to talk about my intentions, resolutions, and abstentions for the new year when I returned home last night.
Alas, when I got there, my door was ajar and my computer, mp3 player, and cell phone charger taken. I spent an hour or two with Baton Rouge's finest and then went back to the Jones' house because I was so spooked I couldn't sleep at my apartment last night.
So, if my posts become a little infrequent for a while, you know why...lack of resources...at least until I pick up the tower in Houston (yeah...the one I promised my little brother. Fuck.).
This is me...pissed off.
|on heavy rotation...
||[30 Dec 2005|12:19am]
1. Joni Mitchell - "Court and Spark"
2. Jeff Buckley - "Last Goodbye"
3. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan - "Mustt Mustt"
4. Missy Higgins - "All For Believing"
5. Andrew Bird - "Fake Palindromes"
6. Dar Williams - "As Cool As I Am"
7. Barenaked Ladies - "It's All Been Done"
8. Robinella and the CC String Band - "Honey Honey Bee"
9. Gypsy Kings - "Bamboleo"
10. Bjork - "Big Time Sensuality"
11. Sarah McLachlan - "Black and White"
12. Broken Social Scene - "Lovers' Spit"
13. Cyndi Lauper - "Time After Time" (feat. Sarah McLachlan, from The Body Acoustic)
14. Indigo Girls - "Power of Two"
15. Gorillaz - "Feel Good Inc."
16. Frou Frou - "Hear Me Out"
17. Catie Curtis - "My Shirt Looks Good On You"
18. MC Solaar - "La Belle et le Bad Boy"
19. Nickel Creek - "The Smoothie Song"
20. Bonnie Raitt - "Lovers Will"
21. Interpol - "Say Hello To The Angels"
22. Nina Simone - "Sinnerman"
23. Beth Orton - "Stolen Car"
24. Tegan and Sara - "Take Me Anywhere"
25. The Cure - "Just Like Heaven"
either I'm a little sad or terribly romantic...
Time to consult the DSM-IV...;)